Choosing a Sober Living Home: What You Need to Know and Questions to Ask

Going on 12 years of sobriety and having worked at several sober housing programs throughout the US over he past 6 years I have become some what of an expert on the topic. Furthermore having been thru not one, but five different programs though out 9 or 10 consecutive years of drinking and using drugs, makes me somewhat of an expert on the other side of things as well.

Not all sober living homes are created equal

Don't settle on the first place you call. So long as we live in a capitalistic society then we will probably have a booming US addiction recovery programs industry. These businesses are competing against each other. Unless it's a free program, then its a buyers market. Let's take a look at some specifics:

• Bedding

  If you go to a sober living and the beds are tiny and uncomfortable then you better be paying a cost that reflects that. Bedding and sleep is huge, not to be underestimated. It's hard enough.

• Rent

  If you have private insurance always check if you can use that to pay for part or all of a stay at a sober living program. Especially if you are doing an intensive out-patient or partial hospitalization program with them also. If they offer you a partial scholarship, ask for a full scholarship. Likewise, instead of asking for reduced price, if you have good insurance that will cover your program then ask for a private room. The worse they can say is no.

• Amenities

  Think about what amenities are vital or important to you on a daily and weekly basis. Are there washing machines, fast wifi, work and/or creative space, parking availability, safety features such as carbon monoxide detectors, EpiPen's and or access to vital life saving medications under supervision.

Two or more washing machines minimum if possible is ideal.

• Activities

  What kind of recreational activities are supported throughout the day/week?

• Transportation

  Are there bus lines near, what types of transportation is provided otherwise. Are there vans to go to meetings or does the individual need to meet people and find rides at the meetings? The latter may be a positive actually, as the recovering alcoholic and addict want to grow a solid support group as quickly as possible.

• Meals

  What meals are provided and what if the person has special dietary needs? Important questions to ask. A good sober living will provide three meals a day at reasonable times and also access to the kitchen for those with special schedules or special dietary needs.

• Deposit

  Beware of the $200 moves you in type of spammy ads. That typically is later called a "non-refundable deposit.: Seemingly always the most dodgy sober livings promote ads like that but if you have a good coverage or are paying monthly than you should either just be paying the months rent with no deposit or you should be getting a full scholarship.

Ask Around at Local AA and/or NA meetings

Talk to, not one, but several people and ask them the best programs in the area or if they have heard of the program you're considering. If it's newer then they may not have heard of it but you may hear some valuable info that you would have otherwise missed.

Reviews online can be deceptive or skewed, I've seen horrible reviews on great programs and vice versa. If the program has bad reviews read more as to why. It's fairly common to see 1* review but the reasoning being something like "they were too strict about everything." Well the idea is structure, so the question is if that person was not willing to actually commit yet. Some people are used to absolute freedom and being thrust into a structured environment can be very unsettling. On the other hand, if a program has twenty+ 5* reviews and no medium or even one negative review it may be wise to ask if those are real. It's becoming harder and harder to rely on Google maps business reviews in the age of AI.

Last but not least, always trust your gut. if something feels off, dig deeper, and if it's a vital matter and you can't resolve the worry thoroughly then perhaps it's best to keep on searching.

If you have any general questions about choosing a sober living home and finding a good fit for yourself and you want to bounce some questions off somebody, feel free to drop us a line and myself or one of our team members are more than happy to help walk you through your search process.